5/8/23
It’s my last day at this house in New Jersey before I return to Evanston, Illinois. We were here for the weekend (my brother and I) to see our parents’ new house.
I’ve been reflecting a lot on what I need to work on. I found Mother Teresa’s book here on my dad’s bookshelf, and I realized that I want to live a life of peace, active joy, and harmony. I want to actively do good in my life. I want to see people with love and kindness. I want to always see the best in people, not judge them for their actions, and not judge myself for mine either. I want to be a role model. I want to be silent in my meditations and my daily life.
It’s hard to put those things into action. Perhaps if I extricate myself from addictions, things will come easier. So I’m going to go back and kill it.
I’ve been having issues with a close friend recently. He is very upset at something, but his actions have become very immature because of it. But being able to tell him that without him lashing out back at me is hard, and to try and act like nothing happened is harder. I shouldn’t act. I should be who I am. I shouldn’t try to be something I’m not. I will try to be myself no matter how uncomfortable it might make me. I want to emanate confidence. I want to be sure in my decisions and follow through with my actions even if they may be divisive if I know it is the right decision for me.
This is the process of growing up, I suppose. I’ll be doing my darndest to make everything work once I get back home. It’s nice to write some things down so I feel like I have someone I can talk to. That’s you, the piece of paper.
I have to leave for the airport in fifteen minutes. Buh bye.
Hank Yang's Thoughts 